Not Myself

After being good for those 7 days and receiving a reward from Sir, I have just not been myself. I have had lots of little snippy attitudes (his words). He really spanked me yesterday with his hand and the paddle. I am not sure how many that I received but there were many of them that came, I also received corner time on my knees. He said that the next time that he has to punish for this behavior he would not be so easy on me. I did not think that it was that he was that easy on me. I did figure out part of the problem, it could be that this is the third time this month that I am on that time of month.

I am trying to do better. Usually on days that he has to work I can stay out of trouble more than I can when he is here. If I do something that I know is outside of our boundaries then I will tell him and just wait on the punishment that I have earned. Some people ask me how I can tell him when he was not with me to see or hear me do it and that is because that little voice that lets you know you did something wrong gets the better of me and I have to tell him. I do not like living with guilt, but I do not like it when someone says that I did something wrong when I did not do anything wrong. Dear Sir is good about listening to all sides before he makes a decision on if I should be punished or not. 

I am glad that DS is my husband and leader, he is mine. He is fair, kind, and strict when needed. He listens to what I have to say and then acts on it depending on if any action is needed. I have found that communication is one of most important things that a couple can do in a dd relationship and any relationship as far as that goes. Yes, there are the rules, boundaries, and the punishments. But under that there is a couple that has open communication that means, that one person really does listen and understand while the other is talking. There is a deep love, appreciation, and respect for one another that unless you are in a dd relationship you honestly can not began to understand. I am not abused or unloved quite the opposite, I am loved, very loved, cherished, protected, and respected! He loves me much more than words can ever explain. I now feel more loved and protected than I ever have by anyone. I just wish that more people would understand that and live like people did back in the 50’s. 

That is all that I have for now!

Happy blogging,

His CSW

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Not Myself

  1. Hope things are better now. Life is pretty stressful at this time of year and having a visitor three times in one month is downright depressing.

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